Red, White, and Royal Blue: A Review

Imagine with me, for a moment, that in 2016, an intelligent, strong, Democrat woman was elected President of the United States. She has a son and a daughter, and an ex-husband who is a Senator. The country is safe. The country is happy. This woman will not drop nuclear weapons into hurricanes to see if it stops them. She is smarter than that.

Her children are likewise highly intelligent, ambitious, driven. But they are in their early twenties, and sometimes do things that this first female President might wish they didn’t.

Like fall for the Prince of England.

red white royal blueThis is the premise of my new favorite romance/alternative history/fairy tale, Red, White, and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston.

Very rarely does a book come along that makes you drop everything to read it. That makes you think about it all day while you’re at work, and devour it the first thing when you get home. And even more rare is a book that is super-smart, super-sexy, and super-funny.

This book had popped up on my social media all summer. I kept seeing it recommended by Goodreads (I know I hate them, but let’s see what they have to say . . .) and on a couple of Facebook romance pages I follow. I hesitated, because frankly, I’d never read anything quite like it before, but the reviews were so great, the premise so intriguing, I finally downloaded it to my Nook – and then got totally lost in the absolutely wonderful alternate reality McQuiston has created.

Before you run out to read this, be aware:  this is a ‘gay romance.’ And I’m going on record right now as saying that I HATE that term. It’s a romance. The main characters happen to be gay. The trajectory from meetcute to happily-ever-after isn’t any different that that of a traditional straight couple. There. Soapbox Rant over. Thank you. 

So yes. The child of President Claremont who falls for the Prince of England is her son, Alexander.

When the First Children are sent to attend a royal wedding. there is a debacle with the wedding cake, which is Alex’s fault, which means that he and Prince Henry need to become BFFs in order to get the media off his back – and repair relations with Britain. From there, they are forced to attend events together, text back and forth, and friend each other on social media. But as Alex and Henry get to know each other, they find the superficial ‘for the media’ acquaintanceship deepening into a real friendship – and from there, into something a lot more.

One thing I love about this book is that the relationship feels so real. I hate – hate, hate, HATE with the fire of a thousand suns – romance novels that have the couple meeting, falling in love, and ending up in bed all in one day. There is no such thing. But Alex and Henry’s relationship evolves naturally, sweetly, depicted partly through text messages, emails, and group chats with their siblings and friends, and partly through their meet-ups – which, of course, have to be kept absolutely secret. Because it’s Election Year in America – and the media is watching. Always.

Alex and Henry are perfect foils for one another as well. Alex – hotheaded, outspoken, obnoxious, eloquent – is the only one who can bring reticent, closed-off Henry out his shell. But it’s Henry who offers the first kiss, taking the lead, being the bold one. They are perfect complements to each other, a wonderful yin-yang.

Another thing I loved about this book is the funny. God, I needed the funny! Part of this is the good-natured jabs Henry and Alex throw at each other, making fun of each other’s titles and countries, the sexy banter that is going to be familiar to anyone who’s ever been in a relationship. Part of it is from the situations they find themselves in. Part of it is the political references. (It really does help to be a history nerd and politico to read this. Seriously. As Henry says in one of his emails to Alex, “The phrase ‘see attached bibliography’ is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me.”) And when Alex’s Secret Service agent catches him in bed with Henry, his mom puts together a PowerPoint discussion entitled “Sexual Experimentation With Foreign Monarchs:  A Gray Area,” with bullet points like, “Federal Funding, Travel Expenses, Booty Calls, and You.”

And the fact that these two young men are quoting Virginia Woolf and Henry James and Alexander Hamilton . . . (I swear to God, I did not know there would be Alexander Hamilton references in this book. I didn’t. I swear. It just was a totally happy coincidence. I swear.)

But another thing I loved is the wonderfully rounded secondary characters that populate this book. Not a single one is superfluous. Every single one is wonderful and necessary and interacts perfectly with Alex and Henry, and it’s a joy to watch them. Alex’s mother – even though she’s the President, even though she’s up for re-election – stands by her son no matter what, a strong and unswerving presence. His sister is ready to take a bullet for him. His Secret Service agents don’t take his crap – but they also aren’t going to stand by and let him be ripped apart from Henry, either.

But I think what I loved most about this book is that it was just escapism at its best. The tension and trials that Henry and Alex go through are real – but again, this takes place in this wonderful alternative universe where everything went right in November 2016, and where there’s still hope and good people and sanity. Tension? Of course there’s tension, from all sides – from the media, from their families, from the consequences of being found out, from the very real possibility that the royal family will not allow the relationship to continue. Tension between all the characters. Tension from an evil Republican candidate, too. But you know it’s all going to be okay, in the end.

Fair warning, just in case you didn’t get the memo from reading this:  there is language, and gay sex (not 100% blatant, but you’ll definitely get the drift), and unapologetic liberalism. If that bothers you . . . well.

Read it anyway. 🙂

 

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A Tale of Two Romance Novels

Once again, over the past few weeks, I was reminded that in novels, characters are the most important thing.

I used to read romance novels all the time, especially historical and Scottish romances. Then I got into my paranormal phase – which I’m still not out of yet, so maybe it’s not a phase – and discovered urban fantasy (though paranormal romance just doesn’t do it for me; when a dust jacket makes inane statements like “Just as Laura realizes the only thing she wants is to live with Luke and his pack in the Grand Canyon and have his little fur-covered babies, an old enemy comes to call,” I’m sorry, but I just can’t do that).

But it’s been a while since I’ve read a straight historical romance. So this past month, I downloaded two on my Nook:  The Turncoat by Donna Thorland, and The Suffragette Scandal by Courtney Milan.

The Turncoat is set during the Revolutionary War, and it’s not your typical romance (for starters, it’s way over 80,000 words . . . or at least, it felt like it). For another, this could have been another trope-ridden romance, with a splash of history thrown in. Instead, Thorland makes it more of a trope-ridden history book with a splash of romance thrown in. She’s clearly done the research, though I have to take issue with her insistence that all Redcoats and Hessians were awful, degraded, vicious creatures. Sure, you had the rare one like Banastre Tarleton (“Tarleton’s Quarter” was anything but) – but most of them were decent guys. Just doing a job. In fact, I’ve read reports of Hessian soldiers, forced to quarter with families, who ended up on babysitting duty!

But I digress. This novel focuses on the romance between Kate Grey – patriot and good Quaker lass – and Peter Tremayne – dastardly Redcoat AND nobleman. Double strike! Kate becomes a spy for the colonists, embedded with the British in Philadelphia. Peter must figure out where his loyalties truly lie – with his country and army, or with a girl he’s only met once but can’t get out of his head? When his cousin decided to pursue Kate himself, Peter’s decision is pretty much made for him.

This is the thing I really, truly hate about romance novels. The couple meets once – ONCE – and falls madly in love. Lust. Whatever. Never mind that they’re usually on opposite sides of a war, or they don’t even know each others’ favorite color. No. Forget such banalities as that. SHE’S PRETTY, DAMN IT, I MUST HAVE HER! Can she speak? Who knows? SHE’S PRETTY, I MUST HAVE HER!

The fact is, the lead characters let this novel down. I never liked Kate. I never liked Peter that much, either, and I truly despised him when he decided to abandon his post and go join the freaking colonists against Britain. Sure, he became an emissary to France, but face it:  he became a turncoat. Hence the title. The main characters should change in some way, yes; that’s part of the story, that journey towards change. But once Peter chucked it all in for a girl – particularly Kate – I was done. I had zero sympathy for him at that point. I never felt that Kate and Peter had true lives of their own; they always felt like cardboard cutouts, being marched across the pages by the author.

MUCH better is the second one (to be honest, I’m not quite done with it yet), The Suffragette Scandal by Courtney Milan. I chose this one because the female lead is – guess what? – a suffragette in Britain, which sounded interesting.

And it is.

Milan has also clearly done her homework when it comes to this time period (the late 1800s and the early suffrage movement). Free Marshall, the FMC, runs a paper ‘by women, for women’ in which she’s basically Nellie Bly, having herself put into mental wards and prostitute hospitals, going into mines where women are forced to work fourteen-hour days, and enduring all sorts of horrendous abuse from the men of London – and Greater England – for it. I like Free. She’s smart and tough and takes crap from no one, and she’s funny.

And her life takes a turn for (hopefully) the better when a mysterious man named Edward Clark shows up to ‘protect’ her from her worst enemy, the soon-to-be Viscount Claridge, James Delacey. Clark makes no bones about it; he’s a forger and a thief and a scoundrel, and he’s not to be trusted.  But he’s the only thing standing in the way of James Delacey’s plans to destroy Free. As it turns out, he’s also the only thing standing between James Delacey and the Viscountcy.

I adore this book, because I adore the characters. Sure, Edward rambles on too much and he’s too willing to just jump into love with Free even though he’s spent his entire adult life avoiding entanglements, but I can live with that. He’s got real issues in his past that affect – that dictate – what he does today. Abandoned by his family, forced to endure the siege of Strasbourg and tortured afterwards, wandering the Continent trying to find himself . . .Unlike Peter, who is driven purely by lust for Kate and some ridiculous thing about he and his cousin really being brothers or something (I admit, I got lost there), Edward is three-dimensional, real, believable. His motives are real. His problems are real. His solutions will also have to be real.

In all honesty, I never felt that Kate and Peter had any issues. Not real ones. They both seemed whiny, self-centered, and one-dimensional to me. (And it’s a romance novel, so let me just say that the sex scenes were not just boring, but weird.) Kate was certainly not a heroine worth throwing away your career – your honor and title – your life – for. I never got a sense of chemistry from them either. But Edward and Free are all that can be right with a good romance novel. (And the sex scenes? Not bad!)

As always, it boils down to the characters.

  • Will your readers care about them? Are their problems real and believable and most of all, can readers relate to them?
  • Have you given them pasts that affect their presents in genuine ways?
  • Have you given them a pathway to change in your book – to change in a meaningful way? Meaning they may have to sacrifice something in order to be with their beloved? (Or, in not-a-romance-novel, change that’s necessary for them to achieve their goal?)
  • Do they take on lives of their own? Do they, at any point, take over the story? Because if they don’t, you’re just pulling strings. You’re not writing real characters. And readers will know it.

All the research in the world can’t make up for lack of good characters. If there’s no chemistry there – and it doesn’t matter if it’s a romance novel or not; imagine Harry Potter without Fred and George! – then you can’t force them together.

Characters are the most important part of your novel. They’re the driving force behind your novel. Make sure they’re characters your readers will like and care about!